The weather is nice
no one would know
baselining at a place
Where I can’t stay,
or keep being present
in this way.
I am not here anymore.
The cumulative tension,
overwhelm, cognitive expend,
constant containment,
I just need it to end.
Cognitive translocation,
an outside body arrangement,
body mind out of sync,
I need some relief.
As I step away
the weather is nice today.
No one would know,
I am not there anymore,
I watch me, my body,
where I should be.
Curious, it still works, and walks,
but not quite normally.
A bit out of step,
asks all the right questions,
cooks and talks.
It does forget though
to breathe, to blink.
It does gasp for air flow.
Fails to eat or drink
and sometimes even finds
it hard to think.
It stumbles more,
Misses steps, even falls.
Time feels bent,
everything softened,
muffled, more distant.
It feels nice to be away,
like a cognitive holiday,
not a place to forever stay.
I can look around and see
details sometimes lost on me.
I can see emotion free,
like a movie including me.
The weather is nice
no one would know
I am not here anymore
It’s all perspective like a show.
I get scared when I can’t step back
My mind panics when I can’t backtrack
I walk alongside myself
separate body and mind,
two of a kind.
Sometimes like a plug,
It takes a child to need, a hug,
intrinsic instinctual connection,
or an emotional projection.
Sometimes I need time
or a focus, an injury or pain
to be in my body once again.
The weather is nice
no one would know,
I am completely spent.
A letter to myself
is sent.
© 2026 Beck Lou. All rights reserved.
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