Months of recovery,
mostly inside.
Battling a voice within,
her very own mind.
Hostile thoughts gripped on,
They would not go away,
sabotaged her recovery every day.
So loud, the cognitions,
the static, internal noise.
Yet externally on ward sanitized
stimulus compartmentalised.
Predictable machines, windows closed,
light low and hospital routines.
Nurses on shift, in flow,
around the clock,
they come and go…
When she walked outside
I noticed her look all around.
She flinched, she squinted,
and shielded her eyes.
Then her eyes turned wide,
stimulated and surprised.
I wonder, how does it feel
to be out here again?
Is it harsh and loud outside?
Does it cause you pain?
Intrusive, noises all around.
A bird shrieked.
A walk-light beeped.
Cars screeched.
I notice her micro-startle,
her eyes dart all around,
following the stimulus
of the crowd.
It seemed the world,
was way too loud,
and all the sounds together,
were all around.
I noticed when the wind blew too,
her breath, suddenly, in it drew
The wind seems alien, on her skin.
Insensible losses, drying from outside in,
She must relearn to adjust, reset.
She can’t, anymore, not just yet…
I’m curious how it feels for you
Coming out into the world anew?
I noticed you flinch,
when the wind blew…
She half-smiled,
and said
“There is a crowd”.
“The birds are loud”.
“My eyes are dry,
The sky is up
so very high”.
© 2026 Beck Lou. All rights reserved.
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